Open your mind to new and wise thoughts from a life lived over eighty years. Access the books that initiate you into such thoughts, provided you can forget the author's bad choices. Everyone messes up once in a while.
People of those civilizations that have advanced to the stage of helping one another are sometimes perplexed that their children have to go through the stages that their civilization went through. That means in nurturing children we have to be aware that they go through a tribal, monarchial, and finally democratic stage as they reach adulthood.
Not all parents and teachers are aware of this, and make countless mistakes like trying to rule the classroom as a democracy. Sad to say, nine-year-olds can't be ruled as a democracy.
However, you don't let them know that. While you still call the shots, you have to give them the illusion, and some allowable choice, that they have control over their lives. Soon enough comes the happy day when they graduate from high school and learn by taking the responsibility for their own mistakes.