Don’t. Wait. Experience has shown that it is a temporary urge if the mind is open to other thoughts. It is a most ungrateful action, for the Creator has gloried in your thoughts and creativeness. You originated from nothingness, and now are something remarkable.
Get help. You’re not going to beat this devil alone. Help may be psychiatric, or even amateur, but that situation needs help. Sylvia Plath, the poet, with a creative mind, couldn’t do it alone. We are here to help one another, or to get help when needed.
All that exists, the birds, the seagulls, the squirrels, even the cockroaches, are a symphony of praise to the Creator, and although He may take his time (Rome wasn’t built in a day or a week), you are in for something good. Yes, I got that from the New Testament. Read something. Even Tolstoy. But get involved with life.
Civilization 